The Cup of Coffee on the Shore
My son’s friends call him Cups. When I asked why, he explained it’s because he always has a whole bunch of cups scattered around, his car, his room, wherever. As he told me this, I looked around the kitchen and noticed exactly that, a cluster of cups he’d just brought down, plus one abandoned in the living room. Moments later my husband walked through holding a coffee cup asking if I still needed it. I hadn’t even realized I’d left it there.
Why this happens, and why it isn’t carelessness
My husband, a classic monkey brain, finds this baffling. To him, standing up to leave a spot means naturally gathering whatever’s around you on your way out, a clean, straight line from point A to point B. And for a monkey brain, that logic holds perfectly. But here’s the epiphany that hit me: physically, we fish brains might still be standing in the exact spot where we had that cup of coffee. But our brain already left long ago.
Monkeys live in a stationary world. We live in a current.
A monkey’s world only moves when they choose to move within it. A fish is constantly being carried by the current, whether we intend it or not. By the time we physically stand up, our brain had that cup of coffee five, twelve, eighty-five thoughts ago. The cup isn’t nearby in our mind anymore, it’s sitting on a shore three miles back down the river we’ve already floated past.
Grace, not guilt
There’s no ill intent behind the trail of abandoned cups. We’re not ignoring what’s right in front of us, our brain has simply moved on to a completely different location entirely, and the fact that we were just sitting there minutes ago genuinely doesn’t register. So the next time you pick up a lukewarm, forgotten cup of coffee and think, huh, I don’t even remember setting this down here, that’s not carelessness. That’s just proof of how far you’d already traveled before circling back.
It’s not hurting anyone. Smile at yourself, pop it in the microwave, and take another sip.
Until next time, continue to choose joy.
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