124: The Life Changing Magic of Knowing Your Season of Life

The Life-Changing Magic of Knowing Your Current Season

I want to talk about the life-changing magic of knowing your current season of life, a title I chose deliberately as a nod to Marie Kondo, whose book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up sold millions of copies worldwide. At the end of January, she made news for saying that after having her third child, she’s essentially given up on tidying as a top priority, and she caught some backlash for it, people calling her a fraud. I think that’s deeply unfair.

What she actually said

In the article I read, Kondo described the evolution honestly: after her first daughter was born, she couldn’t forgive herself for not managing her life the way she used to. Over time, she eased up. After her second daughter, she let go of the need for perfection altogether. Now, with a third child, she says her home is messy, but the way she’s spending her time is right for this stage of her life, invested in her kids. Nobody should feel grief on her behalf for that. When she first became famous, she didn’t have kids yet, and her advice spoke naturally to people in that same season. Now her own season has shifted, and so has what she prioritizes.

Why I’ve always been specific about who I’m speaking to

I talk to ADHD stay-at-home moms with school-age kids specifically, not because I don’t welcome everyone else listening, but because I believe in speaking from what you actually know. My own realization came in stages. When I worked and didn’t have kids, my house was messy, and I chalked it up to work. When I had four kids in seven years, life was chaotic, and I chalked it up to having littles. Then, as they slowly all headed off to school, I looked around and realized I now had time, and the house was still chaotic. That’s when I understood it went deeper than time itself, there was something else going on that I hadn’t yet identified as ADHD.

Different advice fits different seasons

If you’re a working mom, a homeschooling mom, or in a completely different season than the one I speak to, some of what I share might not translate for you, and that’s genuinely okay. There are people speaking directly to those seasons, find the voice that matches how you actually operate and where you actually are. If my advice isn’t landing, it might not be about the advice being wrong, it might simply be the wrong season for it.

If you still have littles at home, this isn’t your time to conquer the house

You want to feel more at peace in your home, and that’s valid, but right now might genuinely be about being present with your kids rather than about order. That time doesn’t come back. Early parenthood is naturally an acquiring phase, more clothes, more toys, things saved for the next kid or the next. Eventually you shift into a different phase, deciding whether to pass things to a friend expecting a baby, or save things for future grandkids, and eventually into a downsizing phase where you’re shedding instead of acquiring. Each phase has its own natural relationship with stuff, and fighting against the season you’re actually in usually just creates guilt without creating peace.

Focus on the joy, not the order

Respect whatever season you’re currently in. There’s real freedom in accepting that this isn’t necessarily your minimalist season, and that’s not failure, it’s just timing. Focus on what matters most to you right now, and let that guide where your energy goes, rather than measuring yourself against an ideal that belongs to a different chapter of life entirely.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.