184: Are You Being Haunted by The Ghost of Christmas Past?

Are You Being Haunted by the Ghost of Christmas Past?

You probably know the story from Charles Dickens’s 1843 novel A Christmas Carol, even if your version came from Scrooge McDuck and Mickey Mouse like mine did. Ebenezer Scrooge gets visited by three ghosts in one night, past, present, and future, and the visit from his past is what finally cracks him open enough to change. I want to talk about a much smaller but very real version of that haunting: the box, bin, or tote of Christmas decor that comes back to visit you every single year, full of things you never actually pulled out and used.

What’s actually happening in your head every year

If you’re anything like me, when you’re packing up your decorations, a familiar set of thoughts runs through your mind. I didn’t use it this year, but next year I’ll be more pulled together and I’ll finally use it. Or, we might move someday, and Christmas décor never really goes out of style, so I’ll hang onto it just in case. Or, my kids are getting older and might want this someday for their own first apartment. Or, I know I should get rid of this, but I’m too exhausted from Christmas to think about it right now, I’ll deal with it next year. Or, it’s already January, and if I take it to Goodwill now they’ll probably just toss it since nobody’s shopping for Christmas stuff anymore, so I’ll wait and donate it next year when the timing’s better.

If any of those sounded painfully familiar, you’re not alone, and you’re definitely not being greedy like Scrooge. Something else is going on.

A story that captures this perfectly

A friend of mine texted our group chat a photo of the bottom half of her Christmas tree, missing its top, utterly confused about how that could happen. Hours later she reported that her mother’s tree was also missing a piece, its bottom this time, and after some detective work, the two matched: her tree’s top had ended up at her mom’s house entirely by accident during a hard year. Her conclusion, which I asked permission to share because it’s brilliant: “My life is a series of episodes when I do something with no regard for my future self. Then when my future self becomes my present self, I spend a lot of time cursing out my past self.” That’s the whole pattern in one sentence. We make decisions with zero regard for the person who has to deal with them later, and then that future self, who is eventually just our present self, resents the past self for it. This happens to everyone, but I’d guess it happens more to those of us with ADHD, since so much of managing a home already happens in survival mode, with very little natural sense of how today’s shortcuts land on tomorrow.

Four categories to sort your Christmas totes into, right now

Rather than let this cycle repeat one more year, pick up each item still rattling around in your bins and sort it into one of these categories.

One: I actually like this and don’t know why I’m not using it. Take it out of the tote right now and put it somewhere you’ll actually see and use it this year. I did exactly this with cans of fake snow that had sat in a tote unopened for four years. They’re becoming stocking stuffers again this year, four-year gap or not.

Two: I don’t actually like this, but guilt is making me keep it, because it was a gift, a hand-me-down, or something similar. This is the moment to refuse to be Scrooge. Someone out there would genuinely love this piece and is waiting to find it at a thrift store for a steal. Put it in your car right now and drive it to Goodwill while it’s still Christmas season and it’ll actually make it onto a shelf.

Three: this is broken, and realistically I’m never going to fix it. Give yourself full permission to throw it away.

Four: this is deeply sentimental, and even though I never put it out, seeing it at the bottom of the tote every year makes me smile. Gather everything that falls into this category into one small, clearly labeled tote marked “Sentimental Christmas,” and store it at the very back. Next year, you can glance at that label and decide in the moment whether you have the energy to dig through it or you’re simply glad to know it’s there.

Your practical, actionable step

Set a challenge for yourself this year: empty totes by the time everything’s out, and when it’s time to pack up again, only put back the things you know you genuinely use and love. Fewer totes rattling around means less exhaustion dragging Christmas out and putting it away next year, and a real chance at a brighter Christmas future.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.