185: 3 Ways to Avoid Setting Up Your ADHD Brain for Failure in the New Year

Three New Year Pitfalls to Avoid (And What to Do Instead)

As we head into a new year, I want to talk about the dangers and pitfalls our ADHD brains tend to fall into this time of year, and how to build a safety net instead so 2024 actually launches well.

Pitfall one: feeling like you have to start on January 1st

Right now your feed is likely flooded with polished influencers insisting you need this or that for the new year, that this one change will transform everything. When something gets repeated to your brain often enough, it starts to feel like an absolute requirement, and clicking on even one of those posts guarantees you’ll see it seventeen more times a day afterward. The pressure to jump in with both feet exactly on January 1st, as though that date carries some kind of magic, is a trap. January 1st isn’t inherently different from January 17th or March 22nd. Let the pressure go. You’re allowed to start whenever you’re actually ready.

Pitfall two: starting without any real plan

Our impulsivity can push us toward declaring a resolution on the spot, “I’m going to walk every single day this year,” or “nothing is ever touching my kitchen island again,” purely because we’re afraid of missing out on the fresh-start feeling, with zero thought given to how we’ll actually support that goal. Avoid starting cold like that.

Pitfall three: starting on someone else’s plan (a monkey’s plan)

Even worse than starting without a plan is grabbing someone else’s plan wholesale, especially one built by and for a naturally organized, consistency-seeking brain. So many of these easy-to-follow systems are really just cleverly disguised instructions for climbing a tree, built by monkeys, for monkeys, to show off how well monkeys climb. You need a plan that lets you swim the way you actually swim, not one dressed up to look approachable while still asking you to be something you’re not.

What to do instead: embrace the in-between

Rather than forcing a hard start on January 1st, give yourself the runway between now and whenever your household actually settles back into its own version of normal, after the holiday decorations come down, after houseguests head home, after school and activities resume. That in-between stretch is a legitimate, valuable rest period, not wasted time. Use it to close out the old year properly and build a plan that actually fits you, instead of trying to build the plane while it’s already flying.

A new, simplified planning approach is coming

I’ve used the acronyms WHAT IF and IF ONLY in past years for my intentionally flexible planning system, and I’ve got a new, more simplified approach for this year that I’ll be sharing soon. Our brains don’t crave consistency, they crave novelty, so I’ll keep trading up the specific challenges and projects month to month while keeping the underlying goals steady, with plenty of padding and safety nets built in so the whole thing feels exciting rather than punishing.

Your practical, actionable step

Instead of forcing a start date, pick the actual day your household will realistically settle back into its own rhythm, and plan to start there instead. Use the days between now and then to properly close out the old year and think through a plan that fits your actual brain, not someone else’s.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.