229: The Indispensability Hack for ADHD: Boost Your Productivity

The Indispensability Hack: Why Leaving Town Makes You Suddenly Productive

Here’s a simple hack, and I’ll warn you upfront it’s either going to feed your ego or bruise it a little: test your own sense of indispensability by scheduling a trip out of town.

I’m writing this an hour and a half past when I was supposed to be in the car for a four-hour drive to see my mom. And in that delay, I’ve gotten more done this morning than in the last two months combined: the house looks phenomenal, laundry is completely caught up, trash cans are already out for tomorrow’s pickup. All of it fueled by the pending departure, and honestly, a little bit of ego about being so essential to my family that surely they can’t function without me being fully squared away first (even though I live with two people who genuinely run a tighter ship than I do most days).

Why leaving triggers this

It’s the exact same feeling as prepping for a substitute teacher when I was in the classroom — genuinely harder to prepare for someone else to take over than to just show up yourself. The same flood of questions hits right before leaving family behind: are groceries cut up, is the fridge stocked, are clothes ready, did I make that phone call, is the house presentable in case someone drops by while I’m gone and judges me in absentia? All of that anxious, protective energy shows up specifically because there’s a deadline attached to leaving, one that doesn’t budge the way an ordinary to-do list does.

How to weaponize this on purpose

If you want to magnify the effect, the sneakiest version is having someone else plan a trip for you without much warning — tell you late in the afternoon the day before that you’re actually leaving tomorrow. You’d be annoyed for a minute, then astonished at how much you accomplished with real urgency behind it. A milder version: have a trusted friend agree to occasionally announce they’re coming over, then cancel last minute. It’ll spur the same cleaning burst, and since ADHD brains forget these arrangements easily, you might be able to use the trick more than once before you catch on.

Turn it into an actual gift

This could double as a genuinely lovely Mother’s Day (or any occasion) gift to yourself: spend a wonderful day with your kids, then ask for an overnight getaway that weekend, even just one night at a hotel. You’ll naturally whip the house into shape before you go, actually rest while you’re away, and come home to a house in great shape that you built yourself, which ends up feeling like a gift twice over.

But don’t let indispensability delay the people themselves

Here’s the catch worth remembering: I had three more things I wanted to finish before hitting the road today, and I could have justified waiting until 2 p.m. to leave. What actually stopped me was realizing my mom is waiting for me, and making her wait all day so I could finish tidying isn’t fair to her. The house tasks, however satisfying, are never the actual priority. The people are.

Your practical, actionable step

If you’ve got a trip coming up, notice how much gets done in the final push before you leave, and ask what that tells you about what’s actually possible on an ordinary day. Then, when it’s time to walk out the door, let whatever’s unfinished stay unfinished, because the person waiting for you matters more than the last item on your list.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.