245: The ADHD Mom’s Tactical Game Plan for October-December

Three Sheets of Paper: A Non-Linear Plan for the Holiday Gauntlet

The final quarter of the year hits our brains in a strange way. Suddenly there’s real urgency again — barely three months left to accomplish everything January 1st promised — and that urgency triggers a genuine burst of optimism about our own follow-through, even with plenty of past evidence that things tend to go sideways. I love that about us. But this particular stretch also means running the full gauntlet: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and kids home from school constantly. It’s exactly the season our brain’s confidence in its own productivity gets tested hardest.

Here’s a tactical way to actually harness that energy instead of just riding the optimism until it crashes.

Grab three blank sheets of paper

Lay your calendar in front of you, pull up your kids’ school calendars if needed, and grab three blank pages plus a pencil. Write October in the middle of one sheet, November in the middle of the second, December in the middle of the third — like the mind maps from school, which happen to work well for ADHD brains precisely because they don’t force prioritization, something that was never our strength anyway.

Brain dump onto each sheet in no particular order. Don’t edit yourself. Write down everything: costumes, decorating inside and outside, buying pumpkins, boo baskets, candy, any school projects or costume days, hosting or attending Thanksgiving, the menu, the grocery list, the turkey-shaped cookie cutters and gratitude feathers, whatever version of Christmas planning you’re ready to think about now. Pull actual dates off your calendar too — days off school, recitals, practices, birthdays falling in these three months. Let it all land on the page without judging any of it.

While you’re doing this, it’s worth remembering why: life isn’t paused to make these moments happen — you’re living inside the moments themselves. If the house gets messy or something slides, that’s fine. This isn’t about a perfect checklist or a Pinterest-worthy result to post online. It’s about actually being present for it.

Every item on the list gets one of three valid decisions

Once everything’s down on paper, each item gets tackled through one of three decisions, and all three genuinely count:

• Decide not to do it. That’s a complete decision, not a failure. I’ve had “wallpaper the dining room” sitting on my November list, using hosting Thanksgiving as my deadline motivation. Realistically, I’ve been browsing wallpaper samples for a year and a half with zero progress and an ever-expanding list of options. This year, I circled it and wrote “not this Thanksgiving.” Done. Crossed off. That’s tackling it.
• Decide to hand it off. Delegate to a professional or another family member. If meal planning isn’t your strength, ask whoever’s cooking with you to send back a full menu, or ask each guest to pick their own dish and recipe. Offloading something outside your wheelhouse is a legitimate way to check it off.
• Decide to actually do it. For the things that are genuinely your strength or genuinely matter to you, take the action yourself.

Highlight what’s actually date-sensitive

Grab highlighters and mark anything tied to a real deadline — the book character costume needed by a specific school day, buying the turkey early enough to thaw, carving the pumpkin before Halloween night instead of five minutes before trick-or-treating starts. Only highlight the truly time-bound items; highlighting everything waters the signal down; you want your eye to catch urgency at a glance.

Keep the pages visible — and moving

Tape all three sheets somewhere you pass daily: a bathroom mirror, a kitchen wall, wherever works. If you live with a more linear-minded spouse or capable kid, you can even hand them the job of relocating the pages every few days — a spot your brain thought was unmissable will quietly fade into the background if it never moves.

Follow interest, not order

This is a non-linear list on purpose. There’s no number one, two, three to march through in sequence. If your brain wants to tackle item seven today because it’s a gorgeous day for outdoor decorating, follow that pull. Forcing sequential order when your brain is drawn elsewhere is usually what causes total inaction — not being able to focus on one through six kills your ability to do anything, including the thing you actually want to do. Chase whatever’s generating real interest today, and let that motion build into its own momentum, pulling you toward the next item, and the next.

Your practical, actionable step

Make your three sheets today. Brain dump without editing, then go through and mark at least a few items with a clear decision: skip it, hand it off, or do it. Highlight what has a real deadline, and tape the pages somewhere you’ll actually see them.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.