97: Little Jolt of Joy – Why Have Goals When You are ADHD

Why Have Goals At All

A little jolt of joy today: why bother setting goals when, as ADHD brains, the odds of hitting them in the neat, linear way traditional goal-setting advice describes feel so slim? Most of what’s out there on goal setting is built for type A brains, a big goal broken into small goals, broken into bite-sized steps, tackled in strict order until completion. That framework can make setting a goal at all feel disheartening, because we already sense how unlikely we are to follow it precisely.

The optimism is real, even when the path isn’t straight

Every time I set a goal, I genuinely believe I have a shot at it, even knowing I’ll probably get derailed along the way. The deflation doesn’t come from setting the goal, it comes later, when the derailing happens. But not having a goal at all just means wandering aimlessly. Even an indirect path toward a goal gives you a direction to aim at, and you learn something from the aiming even when you miss.

Moving targets are allowed

Sometimes the goal itself shifts, you get pulled toward a shiny new interest, or you realize partway through that you don’t actually want what you thought you wanted at the start. That’s not failure, that’s useful information about where your real interests and focus currently lie. Some intensely linear thinkers will grind all the way to a goal only to discover they don’t even want it anymore, and won’t let themselves change course mid-stream. Being able to let the target move is arguably a strength, not a weakness.

A surprise inside my own 22-for-22 list

Earlier this year I set 22 loose, one-time goals for the year instead of a rigid New Year’s resolution, an approach that lets you check things off whenever, rather than demanding daily consistency. Checking back in on that list recently, I found a goal I’d made real progress on without ever consciously thinking about it. One goal was to get stronger. In a moment of frustration about my health slipping, with no memory of that specific goal, I signed up with a personal trainer for ten weeks, just because I knew I needed outside accountability. Only later did I realize that action lined up with something already sitting quietly on my list. It felt like an unexpected gift I’d given myself without meaning to.

Working toward something even when it doesn’t look like it

That’s the real point: even when it doesn’t appear we’re actively working toward a goal, something about having written it down keeps it present in the back of our minds, quietly nudging our actions in that direction. The same morning I recorded this, I’d planned to sit down and record right away, then a friend I hadn’t seen in a while invited me on a walk. I said yes, and came back energized, clear-headed, and glad I’d taken the detour, even though a few other things got pushed later in the day.

Don’t let the fear of missing a goal stop you from setting one in the first place. Striving toward a direction, even an imperfect, wandering one, still moves you further than standing still. Goals are worth having even when they aren’t always hit exactly as planned.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.