35: Why New Year’s Resolutions Are Not Good for ADHD Brains and What to Try Instead!

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work for ADHD Brains (And What to Try Instead)

Here we are at the start of another year, right on schedule for the annual wave of resolutions. This isn’t a scolding about resolutions being bad or silly, plenty of people make them work beautifully. It’s a look at why they tend to fail a certain kind of brain, and what to try instead.

Two kinds of resolution-makers, and two kinds who opt out entirely

There are broadly two types of people who set New Year’s resolutions. The type-A go-getters sit down and build a genuinely impressive plan, broken into months, weeks, and days, and then go execute it. Truly, more power to them. Then there are the starry-eyed dreamers, who go in with full sincerity that this will be the year it finally sticks, powered by hope and a beautiful new planner. Both are valid ways to be a person.

Then there are the two types who don’t bother: the ones who’ve tried and failed every year by February and have simply given up, and the ones who reject the whole premise, questioning why some arbitrary date on a calendar gets to dictate when anyone should chase a goal.

Three reasons this format works against an ADHD brain

The first is an all-or-nothing mentality. When a resolution gets disrupted even slightly, it can feel like the whole thing has failed, with no room for “I made real progress” as its own category of success. The second is that resolutions tend to be enormous and scattered all at once: drink more water, get healthier, renovate the house, run a marathon, all starting January first with nothing sequenced or prioritized. The third, and this one hits everyone eventually: life isn’t routine. No color-coded planner, however gorgeous, can account for a sick kid, a sudden move, or any of the ordinary chaos that derails the best-laid plans.

A better framework, borrowed from Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin, host of the Happier podcast, has for several years done what she calls a “20 for 20” or “21 for 21” list at the start of each year, an evolving number tied to the year itself. Instead of a habit you’re supposed to maintain every single day for 365 days, you pick a set number of finite, one-off goals you can complete anytime throughout the year. They’re not habit-builders. They’re discrete tasks you knock out whenever the motivation or opportunity shows up, which suits an ADHD brain’s relationship with urgency far better than a daily streak does.

Your practical, actionable step

Instead of a resolution built around daily discipline, try picking a set number of finite, one-time goals for the year ahead, tasks with a clear beginning and end, not open-ended habits to maintain. Keep the number achievable, and let yourself complete them in whatever order and whatever season feels right.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.