79: Little Jolt of Joy – Your Thoughts Matter!

Your Thoughts Matter

A little jolt of joy today, prompted by hearing from so many lovely people lately who feel a real connection to this community. Over and over, the message is the same: finally feeling like they’re not alone, that there’s someone else out there who struggles with the same things at home, who feels like they’re failing as a mom even though so much is expected of moms when it comes to the house, the schedules, the meals, the kids.

Why this whole project started

This podcast came out of real frustration with the kind of advice that’s out there, flippant, “just do it” type mentality that ignores what it actually takes to push past what ADHD coach Jessica calls the wall of awful, the mounting negative history around a task that makes even starting it feel monumental. If there’s one thing I want anyone listening to walk away with, it’s this: you have been a fish living in a forest, trying to climb trees, and it’s time to go find your stream instead. You are never going to become a monkey, and that’s not a loss, that’s freeing. You are not a lone wolf struggling alone, you’re part of a whole school of fish.

Notice what you’re actually good at

We build up this refrain in our heads, I’m so bad at keeping house, I can’t get organized, I can’t get out of this clutter, and we attach to it so deeply we stop believing there’s any alternative narrative available to us. So start giving yourself permission to notice when you’re actually in your wheelhouse, when you’re in flow, doing something well. These moments are rarely quantifiable. Maybe it’s how you handle actual chaos when it hits, smoothing ruffled feathers, stepping in and putting out fires, even if the house wasn’t perfectly systemized beforehand.

A story that stuck with me

A listener who works as an ER doctor recently reached out, frustrated with how things run at her own home. I wanted to reach through the phone and tell her, you’re an ER doctor, that is your wheelhouse, staying calm in a crisis, identifying what actually matters in the moment, and making sure that gets handled while everything else is just noise. I want us to think about our homes the same way. It was never really about a perfectly organized system or a flawless schedule. It’s about life constantly ebbing and flowing, and your real strength is how you respond to that flow, not how well you prevented it from happening in the first place.

Letting go of the “what if I had”

It’s easy to beat yourself up after a chaotic day, thinking if only you’d had some system in place, the fires never would have started. Sometimes that’s true. Often it isn’t. And honestly, the messy moments are usually the ones we remember most fondly later. A life where everything always went perfectly would be a pretty dull one.

So take this as permission to notice and celebrate what you’re already good at, and to keep looking for fish-friendly ways to handle the parts that don’t come as naturally.

Until next time, celebrate being a fish, and continue to choose joy.