110: Bend this Organizing Rule if You Have ADHD – One In One Out

Bend the Rule: “One In, One Out”

Every tenth episode, I take an organizing rule and decide whether to break it, bend it, or actually keep it. Today’s rule, one in, one out, is a genuine bend, not a full break, because part of it works beautifully and part of it doesn’t hold up for ADHD brains.

Why this rule works so well for already-organized people

Interestingly, many of my clients are already highly organized, they’ve just hit a season where they lack the time or interest to maintain a space themselves. One long-term client of mine, very organized, has me help her transition decorations seasonally, and every time she brings in something new for the holidays, the one in, one out question naturally comes up. This rule genuinely works when your items already have a designated home and you’ve mastered what Dana K. White calls the container method: your dresser drawer, for example, is the container, and if you have too many clothes to fit, you either get a second container or edit down to fit what you have. Once your things fit their container, bringing in something new naturally requires removing something old to keep the balance. If you have exactly twenty t-shirts that fit your drawer and you buy a new one to replace a worn-out green shirt, that’s a clean, intentional swap. Even an impulse buy can work under this rule, if you notice while putting the new shirt away that you never wear one particular shirt, that becomes the natural one to remove.

Why it falls apart for ADHD brains, and that’s not a personal failing

The rule assumes a level of pre-planning that doesn’t match how we typically shop. We tend to buy impulsively, falling in love with something in the moment rather than consciously replacing a specific worn-out item. On top of that, many of us don’t actually know how many of something we own, or how much space we truly have for it, because everything’s never been washed, folded, and placed in one designated spot at the same time. Even when we do intend to get rid of something to make room, that item might be lost in the wash, tossed behind a chair after an ill-fitting try-on, or otherwise unfindable in the moment, which means the “out” side of the equation quietly stalls. And often the swap ends up mismatched entirely, replacing an old t-shirt with new shoes, which technically satisfies “something out, something in” without actually solving the space problem in the category that’s overflowing.

Three ways to bend the rule so it works for you right now

First, when you consciously decide to replace something, actually get rid of the old item the moment you think of it, don’t let it linger once its replacement exists. Second, try a fun trick around delivery season: save the box something arrived in, label it “discard,” and fill it with anything you no longer want or need, then drop the whole box at a donation center. This keeps volume roughly balanced without requiring like-for-like matching. Third, and hardest of all, catch yourself at the impulse-buy moment itself. I fall into this constantly at Target, filling a cart with decor I’m suddenly thrilled about, then finishing my actual shopping list and asking myself on the way back past that section whether I truly wanted it, whether I’m willing to deal with the cost, or the reaction from someone at home. Often I put it all back and leave with just what I came for. If you never bring something in, you don’t have to worry about what to take out.

Your practical, actionable step

Instead of pressuring yourself to master a perfect one-in-one-out system right now, pick just one of these three approaches, immediate removal when you consciously replace something, a labeled discard box, or a pause at the impulse-buy moment, and try it for a week to see which actually fits how your brain shops and organizes.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.