141: Lessons Learned From My Favorite Organizing Client

What Ruby Taught Me

I want to share some thoughts on my heart tonight, learned from my favorite client. I hate to admit favorites exist, since I form real bonds with nearly all my clients, there’s an inherent trust built when someone invites you into their home and shows you their mess, their vulnerability, the things they’re ready to let go of and the things they need to keep. But this particular client was truly special. I’ll call her Ruby, to protect her privacy.

Ruby was in her late seventies or early eighties, and she’d moved here to be closer to family. I was hired to help her settle in, mostly her closet, bathroom, and a small office space. Every session with her was a genuine joy, she was relentlessly positive, endlessly grateful for the many blessings in her life. Tonight I found out she passed away unexpectedly.

I believe in celebrating a life well lived, even while sitting with the sadness of those of us left behind. So I want to share what she taught me, as a way of honoring her.

Say yes to the invitation

Ruby believed participating in life is a gift. If given the opportunity, jump in with both feet and actually experience it, whether that’s an outing with friends, family, church, whatever the invitation is. And just as importantly, she taught me that if you’re not invited, don’t hold onto sadness or a grudge. People are genuinely busy living their own lives too, and that’s okay. Be grateful instead for how often you are remembered and included.

Gratitude as a way of being, not an occasional mood

Ruby found the positive in nearly everything, and carried herself with a sweetness and humility I treasured being around. She told me often how grateful she was that I’d been hired to help her, because she loved having a young friend. I consider what we had a genuinely special friendship.

No regrets, except one small one

In all my time with her, she never once expressed regret, which is something I listen closely for when working with older clients, especially those downsizing out of a home they’d lived in for decades. She was simply grateful for the new chapter, the new place, the new community to explore. The one thing she’d occasionally chastise herself over was owning what she considered too many clothes or shoes, half-jokingly asking if that was shameful. But I think that came from believing she’d had a full life already, was living a full one now, and expected a full one ahead, and she wanted the right things on hand so she could jump into whatever came next without hesitation.

The lie we tell ourselves about time

There’s a quote often attributed to Buddha: the lie we tell ourselves is that we have time. I knew Ruby had gotten sick. I’d texted a few times, and I kept telling myself I’d swing by once things settled down a bit. That time never came, and that’s my one regret, and it stings right now.

But Ruby’s own positivity reframes that lesson for me too. I’ve also worked with older clients who say no to things because they’ve decided they’re too old now, who sit safely at home so they can arrive at the end comfortably. Ruby didn’t live that way. She believed she had a full life ahead of her, and she lived accordingly, right up until the very end. That belief itself brought her joy, and honestly, it brings me joy too, even now.

So say yes to the invitation. Believe you have a full life ahead of you, and live like it’s true.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.