211: Getting Back on the Horse: Rediscovering Your Routine

Getting Back on the Horse: Five Steps for Restarting a Routine That Fell Apart

You had a routine or rhythm going. It was working, and you actually liked it. Then life happened, a vacation, an illness, a move, family visiting, and now you’re standing there trying to figure out how to climb back on.

I’m working through this myself in real time. Since turning 50, I’d built a health routine that was genuinely working: a two-mile morning walk plus evening dog walks to hit 10,000 steps, three simple protein-focused eating habits my doctor suggested instead of overcomplicating things, a strength routine from a YouTube trainer’s 30-exercise series done over six weeks with built-in rest days, and eventually rucking (walking with a weighted vest) added on top. Nearly 12 weeks in, it was humming along beautifully. Then vacation, illness, moving a kid into college, and family visiting all hit at once, and it all fell apart, podcast schedule included. So I’m recording this as much for myself as for you.

Step one: acknowledge you’ve already proven you’re capable

The fact that the routine worked once is real information. You’re not wondering anymore whether you’re capable of it, you already know you are. That’s a real head start compared to the uncertainty of starting something brand new. The catch, especially for ADHD brains, is that your brain might simply be bored of the old routine now, something we’ll come back to.

Step two: check your footing before you climb on

You can’t mount a horse standing in quicksand. Be honest about whether you’re actually in a stable enough window of life to restart, or whether you’re still mid-chaos. If there’s a trip still ahead, a kid not yet settled, or an obligation still looming, it might genuinely make sense to wait for slightly steadier ground.

But be careful here, because “waiting for better footing” can quietly become an excuse if there’s always another event on the horizon. In my own case, I still have one more kid heading to college in two weeks, then everyone’s back for Labor Day, then a football game, then I want to visit my mom. There will always be a next thing. The real question is whether you’re waiting for a genuinely more realistic moment, or just perpetually finding the next reason to delay.

Step three: check whether the saddle is on tight, meaning check your attitude

If you jump on with a loose saddle, you’ll slide right back off. Ask yourself honestly why you’re trying to restart right now. Is it because someone’s pressuring you, or because you’re annoyed with yourself for falling off in the first place? If your attitude going in is already tinged with self-blame, don’t start yet. You’ll just set yourself up to feel like you failed again.

Tighten the saddle first: remind yourself that falling off wasn’t anyone’s fault. I don’t regret the vacation. I couldn’t help getting sick. I’m glad my kids were home this summer. These are real tradeoffs, not excuses, and they deserve to be acknowledged rather than treated as personal failures. While you’re at it, evaluate the actual routine itself: which parts did you love, which parts did you grit through out of obligation, which parts were genuinely effective, and which parts were there because you thought you were supposed to include them. Don’t just remount the exact same routine on autopilot without asking whether all of it deserves to come back.

Step four: consider whether you need an entirely new horse

This is the part that plays directly into ADHD wiring. Sometimes the old routine isn’t coming back to life because your brain has simply moved on from it, the same way that ride, however great it was, has essentially moved three states over. That doesn’t mean the old routine failed or that you failed. Something working once doesn’t guarantee it’ll work again, and that’s not a referendum on you.

Give yourself permission to try something completely different instead of forcing a revival. Keep the pieces you genuinely loved from the old routine if you want, and pair them with something new you never got around to trying. If you don’t know what “different” even looks like yet, seek out some source of novelty and structure, a new class, a new challenge, a new community experiment, anything that gives your brain a fresh reason to engage.

Step five: ease back in, don’t leap

Whatever routine you’re returning to, or the new one you’re starting, was built up slowly the first time. Don’t try to jump straight into the full saddle. Walk alongside the horse first. Take one small piece of it and give yourself real time with just that piece before adding anything else. If it took a month to build up your walking habit the first time, it might only take a week the second time around, because you already know you can do it, you’ve already proven the capability. That’s not starting over from scratch. That’s an experienced rider getting back in the saddle with more knowledge than you had the first time.

For your house specifically, this might mean picking just one piece of your old routine, making the bed, clearing the counters each night, whatever mattered most, and giving yourself a full week with just that one thing before layering anything else back on.

Your practical, actionable step

Pick the one routine you most want back. Check your footing honestly, tighten your attitude first, decide whether it’s genuinely the same routine you want or something new, and then restart with just one small piece of it for a full week before adding anything else.

Until next time, continue to choose joy.