273: Starting Over – Declutter for the Life You’re Living – Part 2

What’s Weighing Down Your Wagon? A New Way to Look at Clutter

Last week’s episode covered how to guard against new clutter coming into your home. If you missed it, that’s episode 272 — go give it a listen. Today we’re tackling what most of us are actually facing: getting rid of the clutter that’s already here.

The wrong way to start

Here’s the mistake most of us make: we walk into a decluttering session assuming we’re going to find junk and throw out the junk. That mindset derails us before we even start.

The truth is, clutter isn’t junk. It’s a whole lot of useful, valuable stuff — things we paid good money for, loved in the moment, were gifted by people we adore, and that served us well at some point in our lives. Almost everything in your home has value. If you pick up an object and ask “is this useful,” you’ll always find an answer. There’s very little actual junk lying around.

So if “is it useful” isn’t the right question, what is?

A different starting point

Most organizing advice is about finding things a home. But that’s only half the job. The other, more important half is getting clear on how your current life actually works and how you actually want to live right now — not your future life, not nostalgia for the past.

Once you know that, you can pick up any item and ask a better question: does this item earn its place in the life I want to live right now? Not what it cost. Not who gave it to you. Not whether you could repurpose it someday so the money doesn’t feel wasted. The only real measure is whether it’s worth the space, time, and maintenance it takes to keep — whether it can pull its own weight.

The wagon train test

Here’s a picture that might help. Think about old pioneer wagon trains — what people could actually afford to bring with them. Not afford in terms of money, but in terms of weight and space on the wagon. Everything they packed had to serve the journey they were actually on.

Your current stage of life is your wagon. Maybe you’ve got little kids, maybe they’re headed off to school, maybe you’re becoming an empty nester, maybe you’re settling into retirement. Whatever window of life you’re in right now, that’s the wagon you’re pulling.

Ask yourself: how do you want that moment to feel? Calm? Peaceful? Nurturing? Your home shouldn’t be a chore — it should be the place that takes care of you so you can go back out and face the world. And every item you let into that wagon has to earn its keep.

So instead of asking “where does this belong” or “did I pay a lot for this” or “will I want this someday,” ask: is this useful to me right now? Is it valuable to the life I’m currently living, or is it just weighing the wagon down?

And here’s the shift that matters most: when you let something go, it’s not a loss. It’s for the benefit of the rest of your journey. A wagon that’s too heavy can’t get you to the next stage of life — the extra weight just becomes time, maintenance, pressure, and aggravation, not just for you but for everyone riding along with you.

Start small

Pick one space. For me, it’s the mudroom — we’ve had a long, busy summer and I’m heading into a new season, so I’m going through every item in there. I already know what I’ll find: extra lunchboxes I squirreled away in case one got left at school, backup book bags for zipper emergencies, old slime supplies nobody’s used in ages, and who knows what else.

Some of it I’m holding onto for a life that doesn’t exist anymore — the wagon has already moved past that point. Some of it I’m keeping “just in case” it’s useful someday. But moving costs have taught me something: if I’m downsizing down the road, I’m not paying to move the volume of stuff I saved for a hypothetical “what if.” I’d rather save the money now than haul something that might get used one day.

That’s the lens I want you to look through too. Not “I have this stuff, let me make it fit,” and not “I was told to declutter, so let me hunt for junky things I know I won’t use.” Instead, hold every item up against the life you actually want to lead.

You can do this.

Join the conversation

If you give this a try, I’d love to hear how it goes — was there a specific item that stumped you, or one you suddenly saw with new eyes? Come tell me:

• Leave a comment on this post at joylovinghome.com, blog tab, episode 273
• DM me on Instagram @joylovinghome
• Email me at joy@joylovinghome.com
• Post in the free community: bit.ly/joylovinghomecommunity

One more thing: my membership is relaunching this September under a new name — Fish School. It’s an encouraging space with real accountability for working on your home. If that sounds good, join the waitlist at joylovinghome.com/membership and you’ll be the first to know when it opens.

Until next time, think about what you’re hauling around in your wagon — and continue to choose joy.