275: 4 Things Keeping You Stuck – Part 1 – Be Aware of Your Capacity

Stuck in the Lazy River? Understanding Your Capacity (Part 1 of a 4-Part Series)

This week I’m doing something a little different: a four-part series on the four big things that keep us stuck, plus tips to get unstuck and one really exciting bonus if you’re ready to finally get some traction on your home, your planning, and your productivity. Today is part one — understanding your capacity.

You have two modes, and you know it

If you have ADHD, or think you might, you already know the drill. There’s the mode where you’re hitting the ground hard, everything’s coming easily, you’re the energizer bunny knocking things out left and right — right until the battery dies and you look around to find a dozen things left half-finished. And then there’s the other end: your head is full of exciting ideas, you’re genuinely excited about doing them, and you cannot get your body to take a single step toward actually doing any of it.

Sound familiar? Most of us live somewhere between those two.

I call the low mode the lazy river — you know, those inner tubes that just circle slowly, going nowhere in particular. And the high mode is the rapid current — you’re swimming hard, ideas are sparking, you’re loving it right up until the crash. And that crash can feel like it lasts three times as long as the productive day ever did.

Trying to summon a current on command is like trying to catch lightning in a bottle. You can’t control it. So what do you actually do with that?

Drop the guilt — it isn’t doing anything for you

First: stop feeling guilty on the lazy river days. Guilt is a wasted emotion. It produces nothing. Instead of spiraling about what you’re not getting done, start simply asking yourself: what is my capacity today? Don’t label it good or bad — just identify it. Am I in a lazy river day? Am I actually feeling a current today? Just notice it.

Match your tasks to your capacity

Here’s the real key: whatever your capacity is, the tasks you attempt need to match it.

If you’re in a lazy river day and you try to tackle something big and creative, you’ll feel like you’re swimming upstream, and you’ll start beating yourself up for not being able to accomplish anything. It gets worse, not better.

On a lazy river day, keep it small. Don’t think in terms of a to-do list or “clean the kitchen.” Think in terms of one bite-sized bit of motion: can I make the bed? Can I carry the dishes to a sink of soapy water? Can I pick a few things up off the living room floor? Can I wipe out that one gross glob of toothpaste? Give yourself permission for just that much, and let that be enough.

And on the flip side — if you catch a current, do not spend it on a boring task. Digging out the kitchen the moment you finally feel a spark of energy is the fastest way to snuff that spark out. Any motion, even if it feels scattered or “project-brained,” beats extinguishing the one burst of real energy you’ve felt in days. Don’t wake the baby. Ride the current wherever it wants to take you.

I’ll tell you how this actually plays out for me: I give myself permission to just deal with one cabinet. That goes well, so I wash the three pots sitting by the sink so they’ll actually fit. That feels good, so I tackle the utensil drawer that never shuts. Next thing I know, I’ve washed 70% of the dishes, wiped off three-quarters of the counters, and cleared two cabinets and a drawer — and I never once set out to “clean the kitchen.” I just kept following the current, one small win at a time, until it ran out.

If you’ve been stuck for years, this is what’s missing

Now, maybe your brain is telling me, “Joy, I’ve been stuck in a lazy river for four years. I don’t get the bursts of energy you’re describing. I feel like I’m just bailing water on a sinking boat, and I never make headway on anything.”

If that’s you — or even if you related to the first description — what will actually move the needle is real accountability.

Join me in Fish School

That’s exactly why I built Fish School, my brand-new membership community, opening September 8th (the day after Labor Day — I wanted everyone’s kids back in school and last-minute summer trips wrapped up before we start, because nobody needs to begin already feeling behind).

Fish School is designed specifically for brains like ours. Inside, we work on identifying the type of action and motivation that actually gets you moving, alongside a small, encouraging, completely nonjudgmental group of women who get it. It’s not a giant faceless membership — it’s a small, fun community, and our very first week together (starting September 8th) is dedicated to just getting to know each other while we take action side by side, so you’ll feel like part of the group in no time.

Checkout is open now at joylovinghome.com/membership — you can join today, start poking around, and get a feel for the community before we officially kick off on the 8th.

Having people in the same river as you truly makes all the difference. I’d love to see you there.

Stay tuned for tomorrow, when we’ll talk about another reason you might be stuck — and how to get out of it. Until then, continue to choose joy.